Pre-teens and dating

Now a days, dating has become a thing of the past for some teens, since now the style, for the majority is to “hook-up”, which means to “spend time with someone”, without any type of commitment towards them. Many teens have taken in this new way of life. Before there just existed dating, which is a serious relationship where teens would commit to a union and where there was respect and fidelity to just one partner.

Apparently, “hooking-up” is a “cool” relationship, nobody is committed to anyone, and teens can go out have a good time, kiss anyone they want, because in the end there is no real responsibility or commitment to the other person.  But the disadvantages for all teens of both sexes, especially for women, are many. Some of those are how woman are looked upon, not to mention the many sorrows and frustrations this brings to their life. Men also suffer disadvantages in these types of relationships, because other teens begin to criticize him, and he also takes away from is credibility for future relationships. It’s important to remember that God made us in His likeness and image, and because of that both men and woman are not disposable objects. Unfortunately, even young Christian teens are targets of the same pressure and the same game.

“Hooking-up” has nothing to do with dating. Unfortunately, when a teen speaks about “dating” in the true sense of the word, he or she is motive for ridicule and cruel jokes. The main source of this all comes from the media which has distorted the moral values and ethics of our family. Teens suffer from the influence of the means of communication that many times creates an appeal to sensuality and the liberty of sex without limits and without responsibility, making them think that what matters is their enjoyment and pleasures of life. Such behaviors lead to sexual promiscuity, along with its sad consequences.

Some teens that call themselves Christians, at times, begin a relationship without thinking about the biblical principles that should govern their behavior. Unprepared, they easily fall into the traps the devil has prepared for them. The word of God condemns sex before marriage, since it makes it very clear that sexual relationships are a privilege of marriage. We can read several biblical passages that condemn sexual relationships before marriage; Acts 15:29,21:25 ; 1 Corinthians 6:13-18; 2 Corinthians 12:21; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5.

Our relationship with God will also show how we proceed while dating, since God will then be in control of the relationship in every encounter. His eyes, which see everything, will, even in the dark. “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.” Psalm 119:9

Plus dating should be to observe and get to know more about that special person who you are considering as your future possible partner. Obviously dating should be fun, but it should also be serious.

The main point of dating is marriage; but marriage isn’t the end of dating. In reality, dating should continue for the rest of your lives.

Men and women normally choose the person they date based on a physical attraction. Young men want to date women with nice body’s and pretty faces. While women want a strong man with elegant features. Physical attraction doesn’t guarantee that than young man will be a good husband or that a pretty girl a good wife. It isn’t wrong, of course, you should be attracted to that person physically, but what’s inside, an incorruptible spirit that is meek and quiet, that is what truly has value before God (1 Peter 3:4)

So what age is best to date?

We need to analyze, what conditions we are in to be able to date, remembering that it demands commitment. Let’s see together some points.

1- When do you plan on getting married; for many that is in a very far away future, and so it isn’t time to date
2- How do your organize yourself with your personal things; if it’s been difficult to deal with your personal commitments, then it isn’t wise to begin yet another commitment.
3- Are you financially independent; this new moment in your life requires you to be financially stable, to be able to go out, give gifts, etc.
4- How is your relationship with your family; BE CAREFUL a relationship with someone else does not replace the lack of attention from your family.
5- To date just because everyone else is dating; you can’t begin a commitment with some else because of what other people will think, we are talking about the happiness of two people, it’s a big deal.
6- Secretly date; the commitment of dating cannot be a burden, it should be a reason of happiness, and secretly dating is not fun.
7- The Bible shows that two is better than one, but if your relationship is going to bring any of the problems mentioned above than its better to be alone and to remember that there is a time for every
for everything.