He Raised Me UP

       My name is Ana Mendonca, I grew in a hostile environment. My

pain started when I little girl who was seeking love from my mother,

but all I got from her was abuse. Ana your fat, Ana your stupid, I was the

outcast. My mother was overlay protective of me, and always

compared to my sister. I sought comfort in my father, and the closer

 I got to him, the more my parents would fight. My mother was mean

all the time. I had built up such a growing anger towards my mother I

 couldn’t be in the same house as her. I was tired of the abuse, insults,

 and living like if I was the outsider. My life of destruction followed me

 from a little girl till I was an adult and almost killed me.

   

    I showed off my pain by hanging around with people that were bad news. I moved out of my parent’s home young and angry. I got pregnant right away, because I was looking for love. I was devastated to find out that my boyfriend who I was in love with was going to go to prison for a long time for breaking the law. I was alone and pregnant.  As a single mother I struggled a lot.  A year later I decide to give my heart to another man. He said he loved me, and treated my son well. So I took a chance and hoped that things were going to work out. Things were ok in till I got pregnant with my second child. I noticed that he started hanging around with the wrong crowed and started to treat me bad. I didn’t see it coming one night. He beat me. I remember being punched in the face and being kicked in the stomach, and all I could do was protect my unborn child by shielding my stomach. My baby was ok, but I wasn’t. I left him.

        Time never stops, and that is how I felt with all the pain that continue to follow me. I was brought to my knees when my first child got sick with meningitis, it not just crippled my son, but it crippled my soul. He died  later that year. My life was upside down,  as I mourned the death of my child. I thought that my life couldn’t get any worse than it already was. My father was diagnosed with cancer and died the same year my son did. I was so empty, lost and destructive.  I stopped caring about my self. I gained so much weight because of my depression. I weighed about 315 lbs, I was eating to fill the void in my heart.

       I knew God loved me, I just didn’t know how my life was going to turn around. I was a single mother who had a past of destruction, I ran into a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in over twenty years, he introduced me to the church and I gave my life to Jesus. He changed me, I’m not the sad, and depressed woman I was. God raised me up, and lifted my spirits. I’m free, the shackles of death are broken. God is so beautiful, the person who brought me to church is the man I am married to right now. I received the Holy Spirit, and he has given me the will to live. I can’t describe the joy the Holy Spirit has brought to me, one thing I do know, I will serve him for as long as I live.

   

Thank you God, for saving me.

Ana